As Useless As Sayings and Other Deliberately Bad Jokes

This is a site about jokes that do nothing, badly. The as useless as family is the house speciality — the chocolate teapot, the screen door on a submarine, the ashtray on a motorbike — a form of comparison the British have been perfecting for roughly a century and which still works in any room where a thing has just failed to do its job.

Around it sits everything else built to be groaned at: dad jokes, puns, knock-knock jokes and one-liners. Nothing here is aimed at a person. The butt of every joke on this site is an object, a situation, or the joke itself.

Start with the 30 as useless as jokes compilation, then take the foodie edition if you cook. Specificity beats profanity every time.